The moon rose on my cloudy night
memories in faded yellow
my
self
a ghost movement in periphery
eyes now newborn blind
only trust instinct
questions will echo my place
I the forgotten self,
stirring somnambulist
exhausted, I made my way
rain falling
foot trod
back to the village
through the market
up the seven flights
and at long last
soggy shoes
I knocked on her door.
"Hello," she said
leaping into my arms.
"I was worried about you."
she motioned me in and
went to the stove
lit a burner
placed a kettle
and offered me a pipe.
"Here; smoke this."
exhaustion overpowering
suspicion or even care
Thank you.
She moved toward a lamp
twisting it on
and the first burst of light
shimmered in her curls
like the first stars at twilight
"I'll get you a towel. Come take a shower."
we stepped into the steaming flow
and I melted into the clear spirals
at the drain
into her
time slipped slightly
backward
into a freeze frame void
water droplet white
And in a short moment we
were sitting close
relaxed and sipping tea.
After taking a hit, "Where
did you go?"
Into the forest.
"What did you see?"
My eyes torn open
to my blindness.
She looked at me with
a mix of understanding
and skepticism, deeply
sympathetic eyes,
and laughed.
hard and full-bellied mock
I had a family.
"Oh really?"
They were killed, apparently,
to insure my reprogramming
or some such.
"Who told you this?"
The man who killed them.
"I'm sorry."
Me too.
Like déjà vu, I recounted
my stumble,
my death,
and my treetop adventure
with the commander.
"We know of their camp.
Several times during the year
they trade in our market."
Nothing exists alone…
"Of course not. What would
give you that idea?"
It's not mine. It's his
hope, maybe.
"That spineless killer only
hopes to escape his sins."
That's beside the point.
How long have they
been there?
"I don't know. Why?"
Personal timeline.
He deserted shortly
after my family's death.
He apparently stumbled
upon the reality
and frivolity of the City.
"Which are?"
A condemned life,
resolved to one's slavery.
She paused at that;
like actually hearing a familiar
drilled slogan,
confused, for the first time,
by its sudden meaning,
"What do you—
does he mean by that?"
Who can say? But he
sold everything he owned.
This drew attention to him.
His wife and son were taken to
Reeducation Sites. He managed
to flee with his daughter.
I think something inside of him died—
he trudged through the mine
infested forest with
the mad abandon of the doomed…
He said with cold acceptance
that we will die
in a nuclear war. Soon.
He also said there was a lunar colony.
a guilty silence
"But they live to promote
humanity beyond our planet.
What makes him believe
in imminent nuclear war?"
What makes you pause at that?
"What did he tell you?"
That all of this,
your village, the city,
all of it is a ruse. Stunning box
distractions for the final captive
bolt. The end game is in play.
"What do you mean?"
Thanks to us, those on the moon
are self-sustaining. We're
merely in the way of the last things
of value on Earth.
"Which are?"
Mineral ores.
She began slowly
"But surely
no one, regardless
of absolute cold rationality,
could actually…
exterminate?
our home planet?
Some things must be sacred."
When have we not defaced and degraded
our planet? Pushed our
anxiety driven self-fulfilling End?
"But we have learned;
we've become better stewards."
No, we've become adept at
living in our filth.
"You have to move beyond your
misanthropy and loathing."
Into what?
"So you've just given in?"
You're taking this all fairly
well.
I was slightly upset at hearing
it was the end of the world;
granted I was not exactly
sober.
Am I mistaking your
optimism for ignorance?
What aren't you telling me?
"Look, I've grown up understanding
that heavy thumbs rest on the button.
Why do you think my mother was murdered?
Disarming has never been a
popular topic among those
in power.
You may not remember the years
of war, but I do.
As long as
it hasn't happened yet, there's
reason for hope."
That was my response to him.
"So you've given in?"
I don't know.
What else can we do?
"We should go see my father.
He will have some idea, and
perhaps more information. He might
be able to get you back into the city."
Wait. How?
"He could grant you diplomatic status,
give you documents in triplicate,
badges and passes. Whatever is necessary."
What weight does his authority hold there?
"You could return to the Truth Department,
raise awareness. That should stir up
enough commotion to flush out the
extremists and we can
stop them."
How connected are… Look.
You're avoiding the obvious problem.
We don't even know how much time
we have left. What will a mass
voice do but waste our last
breaths?
"Do you know when you're going to die?
If we do nothing, we are
culpable in our complacency."
So how did it come to this? And
you, with your memory of the war
and your heritage of activism, what have
you done over the years to
avert this?
"Our village has stood as a model
for peaceful living. We
have taken in refugees from
anywhere; including you.
We have striven to be the
good we dream of;
a model to all other nations."
Don't you get it? This is not
just some terrestrial spat
to discuss like playing cards.
The planned extermination of
humanity is not some
idealogical debate.
"We should go."
Can we go tomorrow,
please? I desperately
need sleep.
She paused to consider,
"Okay, we'll go in the
morning." she said finally, rising
disappearing to her room
returning with a pillow and blanket,
"Good night."
lights
***
The sun rose, brisk
with heavy fog hanging
in the still air.
In our own heads, with
quiet friction between
we passed through the village.
I barely know this woman—
what am I doing here?
A jolting realization broke the silence—
There aren't any children
here, either.
"I know. There haven't been
for years."
Why not?
"They went to help populate the moon."
Have they taken your children?
"No. I haven't had any. They take
entire families, not just the
children.
I was once married.
My husband and I ran a foster home
for quite a long time. But he divorced
me because I couldn't get pregnant.
He's up there with his new
wife and their children."
I'm sorry.
"Life goes on."
Passing through the archway,
"We're here."
she knocked
mouth agape searching—
"Hello! Come in
come in."
Welcomed in with warm
embraces,
stifling
"Father, we have something
important to talk
to you about."
Were you a City Planner?
a stunned quiet
"What?" gasping
"Yes."
"What?" shocked
That's what I was told.
"Oh really?
What else did Humberto tell you?
Did he tell you why he deserted?"
he said with a huffed chuckle
Do you know who I am?
"Why should I? You fit in
nicely, once convinced."
"Father?"
"Yes, I was once a Planner, but
in all honesty, I grew
to detest the position. One day,
the ax just fell."
How much do you know?
"About what?"
When were you serving?
"Before you were born."
Then how…
When did the war break out?
"Wars have always broken out."
"Death and domination are essential parts of
Life." the doctor droned
taken aback
Looking me straight in the eyes,
piercing too
personally
"My friend, we accept it."
And you challenged that I
was giving in?
her eyes drop
What?
What do you accept?
"What we may think of as chaotic
is always autopoietic swirls, pulsing
in their own rhythm. We find patterned
meaning even in our limited and dissonant
reality, because it‘s there regardless of
our notice. Life and Death cycle together,
like tides. Paradox and confusion are
merely signs of our limited perspective."
You're speaking shadows and abstractions.
What do you mean?
Ignoring me, "Daughter, you
said you had a matter of
importance."
As if briefly stuck,
"Father,
what is the truth behind
the Moon Colony?"
I nearly choked suppressing a laugh—
cross looks
"They are humanity's progeny. Our
next step in
self-determined evolution. A baby
step toward exploring and
understanding our place in
the Cosmos."
And that includes slaughtering those
left on Earth?
"You don't know what it was like
during the war."
"Father?"
"The total lack of stability,
anywhere, kept the entire
planet at risk because of our headstrong
march toward self-extinction
for decades.
This was until the World Organization was
dominated by an alliance of three nations.
They began two initiatives.
With the Standing Force Initiative
a fighting force was commissioned.
Through assassinations, guerrilla tactics,
and conventional combat,
Order was reestablished globally."
And the second?
"The agreement initiative which led to
the founding of the
Organization for Preventing Extinction."
and what of the last trees…
How did they plan on doing that?
"Through many varied projects and
initiatives. This Village was an
early project."
he continued,
"Our goal was to experiment and adapt
new methods of architecture and
social interaction with an ever
present focus on our impact
on the environment, continuously
striving toward balance.
Though initially a safety valve for
overpopulated cities; we came to
represent an alternative to the choked
bureaucracy of cities by establishing
social strata based on merit. By restricting
political participation, policy development
came much more smoothly and rationally.
While some were excluded from governing,
none were restricted in pursuing talents."
Doesn't sound much different from
the urban pasture.
"Discovering one's talent will never be
a state issue." she droned
What other projects were there?
"There was a Safe Population
initiative to have volunteers sterilized."
the doctor's eyes dropped
"The planet was overpopulated;
still is. But at the time,
we were to critical levels.
Everywhere was misery
and famine. Overstressed farmland
had long since reduced yields.
Water shortages and drought were
widespread and global. Pollution
and waste were prevalent in all
major cities; slums
and shanty ghettos began to
spread. Disease was international."
When was this? The Amrikan
Truth Department focused
almost exclusively on the matters within
our walls. So far as I knew,
every day was business as usual.
"Yes, we strove to act with
vigor in managing our affairs
prudently. Through much hard work
we were able to insulate, or
buffer ourselves from the troubles
around us. We were fortunate
to have had a good deal of success
in some of the gambles and
compromises we made. But what
made you flee so desperately?"
I don't know.
That seemed to mean a lot to him.
"Hmm. How did you feel in the
City?"
Captive. Cornered.
"And here?"
Breathing is easier here.
So then what?
Do we return and reform
the city? There has to be
some chance of salvation.
"No. Stay here with us. Tell
him there's no merit to
his fears of annihilation. Not
here. Not anymore."
"I'm afraid that's not true."
Wait. What?
"Father, what isn't true?"
"I'm sorry, my daughter.
We have always been
most dangerous in numbers.
The consensus was that
Earth was beyond repair.
We are torn because we do not
have the means to save everyone,
but we do not have the will
to continue to watch so many
kill each other and die senselessly.
It‘s too big,
too tangled,
too muddy
for clean hands or a clear conscience."
Overcrowded, as it were?
But since there's no value in
numbers, atrocities are easier
to stomach, eh?
Especially when we can apologize it
all away as 'for the good of the people.'
"So then,
now what?"
How long do we have?
"I don't know. I asked
not to know. But within
a month or a week,
I suppose."
Who else knows about this?
"Not many others."
People should know about this.
"Why? Those on the moon
will be told that we
self destructed. No
one will question it. Why ruin
the rest of the lives, here,
by stirring futile panic?"
"They will die exactly as they ought,
not knowing."
she droned droned
And what of complacency?
her eyes dropped
"My friend, Cronkite was a boho
after all; and Samuel himself
took part in high jinx."
What do you mean?
We can't just continue the shadow play
up to the slaughter.
People must know.
"Honestly think about this.
What good will it do?"
We are not sheep. Whether
painful or not, we deserve
to know. They must know.
Even if it is inevitable, they must
know the truth.
"Father, what difference does it make?
At least grant him pass for
his return;" looking with
ice blue sorrow eyes, "since
he won't be staying…"
whispered
"regardless…"
"Well, I'm sure your short
lives together would have been rough.
No. I won't. Don't you think there's
a reason for those scars on your
hands?" he huffed
almost embarrassed
if only I could hide them
"No. I will not associate my name
with his."
Why did you save my life?
"Because you were found in need."
drone
Then he laughed,
"Come now. You're not so important
as to leave die to exposure. We
take in all sorts of refugees."
There was no more commonality,
just opposing feelings
and points of view.
this schism forces my departure,
I rose,
Thank you for your hospitality.
She walked with me
in quiet sadness
until we stopped at the end of the hedge,
embraced each other
losing ourselves for a few moments
searching eyes for the right words
but both knowing it was for the best…
"We'll meet again someday. I'm sure."
Perhaps
we kissed and I walked on
alone
head down in thought
through the streets, the market avenue
beyond the village gate
After some distance,
looking back over my shoulder,
I stopped
and brushed off their
sleep-dust.
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